Saved By The Bell: Honeymoon in Blog Vegas

Some of the best ideas are formulated in the midst of desperation, and there isn’t a more desperate man alive right now than Jimmy Fallon.  Since taking the reigns from Conan O’Brien, Fallon has been working on formulating a late night identity all of his own.

He has The Roots as a house band (they must have lost the worst bet in history) and apparently he Twitters a lot.  Beyond that, Jimmy needs some help.


Sorry, going to take more than a couple of tweets.

Sorry, going to take more than a couple of tweets.

I will say that I haven’t personally watched more than short clips of Fallon’s show, having gone on a self-imposed NBC embargo since last year.  This started upon receiving the world’s shortest “Thanks, but no thanks” letter from them following a costly trip/interview.  But this is all secondary to my point that Fallon kinda blows.


However, a recent move may pay dividends for the sweatiest young man on TV.  On Friday’s show, Jimmy introduced an idea that I myself have kicked around for several years (unfortunately I’ve had no access to a major network television show to throw it out there).  Mr. Fallon is going to attempt to reunite, on his show, for the first time since the end of the series’ run, the cast of ….


…SAVED BY THE BELL


In the video clip seen here, Jimmy implores the audience to rally around the idea by signing an online petition (apparently television actors are obligated to follow the demands of web-goers with cheeto-stained fingers, as long as they have a petition). He tries to start the movement off with a bang, by introducing the first (and most bloated) piece of the puzzle, Mr. Dennis Haskins, a.k.a. Principal Richard Belding.


While a positive first step, the support of The Big Bopper (Belding’s KKTY DJ moniker for those of you not well-versed in SBTB lore) isn’t going to excite any dyed-in-the-wool fans. Haskins is seemingly strapped for cash and would be willing to appear for any late night TV stunt/Payless shoe store grand opening if the price is right.


The real trick will be convincing the (worthwhile) actors who portrayed the students of Bayside. I’ve painstakingly (randomly) researched (made-up) the reasons why they will be tough sells for Fallon, and rated their chances of appearing. In today’s Part One of a two or three part series, I catch-up with several of our favorite Tigers.


  1. Dustin Diamond a.k.a. Samuel Screech Powers

screech2


Mr. Diamond has had a rough go of it since the end of SBTB. He has tried and failed to find another venue to display his God-given talents (term used loosely). He appeared in some movies you’ve never seen, was cast on several “reality” shows you couldn’t have found with a TV Guide subscription and a private investigator, made a sex tape, and even put out an instructional chess video.


His main passion now, and biggest road block to an appearance on Fallon’s show, is stand-up comedy. Having been unable to find a spot on the national scene, Diamond somehow coerced his way into a permanent emcee spot at Milwaukee’s one and only GiggleHut comedy club. Unless he can find a replacement for an evening, he is booked.


I’m still giving him the best odds to appear though, as the appearance fee would allow him to take a chunk out of the back taxes and utility bills he currently owes. Also, the spread at the craft services table would be his heartiest meal in months.


  1. Lark Voorhies a.k.a. Lisa Turtle


lisa1

Oh Lark, sweet sweet Lark – my wild-card of the group. The only reason I rate her as the second most likely to appear is her lack of recent work. Initially, after SBTB’s run was over she appeared on Family Matters, Fresh Prince, a shampoo commercial, a soap opera, and more R&B videos than you can shake a stick at. Incidentally, one of the videos was Bobby Brown’s “Stick Shaker”. The TV work has recently fizzled out though.


Voorhies did have some success with a music career and apparently she is still pursuing it. Here’s hoping the 2009 holiday season brings “Hark Lark! Voorhies Sings the Xmas Classics” to a Big Lots! shelf near you.

Again, our best hope for her to appear is financial stress, as she has a gargantuan plastic hoop earring collection to maintain and expand.


Check back this week for Part Two of the most depressing look at former child stars ever.

Advertisements

6 Comments

Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Late Night TV, Saved By The Bell, TV, Uncategorized

6 responses to “Saved By The Bell: Honeymoon in Blog Vegas

  1. Mom

    If my offspring support this foolishness, I worry about the future of this generation. What’s next? Getting Dr. Huxtable to reunite with Rudy? Leave the 80s alone. They were hideous.

  2. Penny

    SBTB was the early 90’s Mom, not the 80’s. Oprah already reunited the Huxtables and we don’t have Oprah, so Jimmy Fallon is all we have. It will happen, it’s the perfect mix of those that have dead careers and want the attention (i.e. Belding, Dustin Diamond) and those with shows to promote (i.e. Mario and Mark-Paul).

  3. Probably the best idea that Fallon’s team has come up with; I don’t think it’ll be too hard for Fallon to find an identity – he is a generation (or two) younger than the crowd out there right now, and only he could’ve figured how nostalgic are for SBTB, Public Enemy, and whatever else he pulls out of his magic hat. I wrote a bit about it here (tubatv.wordpress.com)

  4. Pingback: The WTF Files?! Lark Voorhies « theglosspost

  5. It is extremely interesting for me to read the blog. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I would like to read a bit more soon.

    Truly yours

  6. Привет всем! Уважаемые форумнечанки разрешите вопрос к вам – а что прикупить
    цветущей даме на д.р. в числе прочего из русской косметики. Зашла на novzar ru –
    вроде выбор ок. Кто чем пользуется – расскажите!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s