Some of the best ideas are formulated in the midst of desperation, and there isn’t a more desperate man alive right now than Jimmy Fallon. Since taking the reigns from Conan O’Brien, Fallon has been working on formulating a late night identity all of his own.
He has The Roots as a house band (they must have lost the worst bet in history) and apparently he Twitters a lot. Beyond that, Jimmy needs some help.
I will say that I haven’t personally watched more than short clips of Fallon’s show, having gone on a self-imposed NBC embargo since last year. This started upon receiving the world’s shortest “Thanks, but no thanks” letter from them following a costly trip/interview. But this is all secondary to my point that Fallon kinda blows.
However, a recent move may pay dividends for the sweatiest young man on TV. On Friday’s show, Jimmy introduced an idea that I myself have kicked around for several years (unfortunately I’ve had no access to a major network television show to throw it out there). Mr. Fallon is going to attempt to reunite, on his show, for the first time since the end of the series’ run, the cast of ….
…SAVED BY THE BELL
In the video clip seen here, Jimmy implores the audience to rally around the idea by signing an online petition (apparently television actors are obligated to follow the demands of web-goers with cheeto-stained fingers, as long as they have a petition). He tries to start the movement off with a bang, by introducing the first (and most bloated) piece of the puzzle, Mr. Dennis Haskins, a.k.a. Principal Richard Belding.
While a positive first step, the support of The Big Bopper (Belding’s KKTY DJ moniker for those of you not well-versed in SBTB lore) isn’t going to excite any dyed-in-the-wool fans. Haskins is seemingly strapped for cash and would be willing to appear for any late night TV stunt/Payless shoe store grand opening if the price is right.
The real trick will be convincing the (worthwhile) actors who portrayed the students of Bayside. I’ve painstakingly (randomly) researched (made-up) the reasons why they will be tough sells for Fallon, and rated their chances of appearing. In today’s Part One of a two or three part series, I catch-up with several of our favorite Tigers.
- Dustin Diamond a.k.a. Samuel Screech Powers
Mr. Diamond has had a rough go of it since the end of SBTB. He has tried and failed to find another venue to display his God-given talents (term used loosely). He appeared in some movies you’ve never seen, was cast on several “reality” shows you couldn’t have found with a TV Guide subscription and a private investigator, made a sex tape, and even put out an instructional chess video.
His main passion now, and biggest road block to an appearance on Fallon’s show, is stand-up comedy. Having been unable to find a spot on the national scene, Diamond somehow coerced his way into a permanent emcee spot at Milwaukee’s one and only GiggleHut comedy club. Unless he can find a replacement for an evening, he is booked.
I’m still giving him the best odds to appear though, as the appearance fee would allow him to take a chunk out of the back taxes and utility bills he currently owes. Also, the spread at the craft services table would be his heartiest meal in months.
- Lark Voorhies a.k.a. Lisa Turtle
Oh Lark, sweet sweet Lark – my wild-card of the group. The only reason I rate her as the second most likely to appear is her lack of recent work. Initially, after SBTB’s run was over she appeared on Family Matters, Fresh Prince, a shampoo commercial, a soap opera, and more R&B videos than you can shake a stick at. Incidentally, one of the videos was Bobby Brown’s “Stick Shaker”. The TV work has recently fizzled out though.
Voorhies did have some success with a music career and apparently she is still pursuing it. Here’s hoping the 2009 holiday season brings “Hark Lark! Voorhies Sings the Xmas Classics” to a Big Lots! shelf near you.
Again, our best hope for her to appear is financial stress, as she has a gargantuan plastic hoop earring collection to maintain and expand.
Check back this week for Part Two of the most depressing look at former child stars ever.